Published on Mar 28, 2000
Just like any music fan, I get excited about the arrival of
certain discs on the marketplace. But I can’t really explain why I
was so eager to get my review copy of
Pornosonic: Unreleased 70s Porno Music. Anyone who has
watched movies from this genre will freely admit you don’t rent
these things for the soundtrack.
Whatever the case, I discovered a hidden danger to this disc.
After spending an evening listening to this disc for review,
something clicked in my brain, and I had an idea. When my wife came
home from work, I met her at the door wearing my silk robe, a glass
of champagne in my hand, and this disc blaring in the background. I
then asked her, in the best bass voice I could muster up, if she
wanted to get freaky.
I’ve been sleeping on the couch for the last three nights. But I
digress.
Pornosonic, to be truthful, doesn’t sound like the music on
these 10 tracks are really pulled from ’70s porn flicks, for one
good reason – the tracks sound too clean. I’d have had an easier
time believing that this was the real thing if the tracks sounded
like they had a layer of sonic grit on them, as if they had just
been pulled from the vault of some studio.
To rectify this problem, I prepared to listen to the disc a
second time – only now, I had playing on the TV (with the sound
turned off) a pornographic videotape. Hit “play” on the CD…
Ahh, okay,
now
it fits the mood. (Parents, you may now uncover your little
ones’ eyes.)
Minor complaint number two: The tunes themselves are just far
too short for the, aah, subject matter involved. I’ve seen a porno
or two in my time, and I know that the musical accompaniment is
much longer than three or four minutes. I would have found this a
little more believable if the jams were stretched out a bit more.
(While we’re at it, the disc clocks in at only 32 minutes – I’d
have appreciated a little more leng… aah, music on this disc.
Geez, it’s amazing how you have to watch what you say in a review
like this.)
All of this said,
Pornosonic is not meant to be a historical snapshot of
another side of American cinema and its music. If anything, it’s
meant to revel in the true pleasure of this style of music –
namely, r&b-laden funk that lays down a solid groove. In this
regard, main songwriter/guitarist Don Argott accomplishes his
mission.
Whether it’s “Dick Dagger’s Theme” or “Nice N Sleazy Does It”
blaring from your speakers during the party, this is the kind of
disc that will send your little wing-ding into a 360-degree turn
towards fun. Although the voice-overs of real-life porn star Ron
Jeremy (“A relaxed ass is a happy ass”… give me a fuckin’ break)
and the occasional sound bite from the film genre in question might
occasionally bring conversation to a screeching halt, the overall
groove of this disc is sure to be what is remembered.
Pornosonic might not be an album that will help you “get
jiggy with it” – although your results might be different from
mine. As a marital aid, this disc might provide you with some fun.
As a party conversation piece, you’ll be talked about for days at
the water cooler. As an album – it’s not bad at all.