Published on Dec 27, 1998
From the “I Can’t Believe HE Had An Album!” section… Actually,
he had quite a few…
Yes, Lorne Greene:
Bonanza.
Ponderosa. Ben Cartright and his sons: Adam (Pernell
Roberts), Hoss (Dan Blocker), and Little Joe (Michael Landon).
Believe it or not, Greene shares a common factor with such artists
as Elvis Presley, The Beatles, Elton John, Michael Jackson and
Mariah Carey (as well as many others): He had a #1 song on the
music charts.
The year was 1964, and his #1 song was entitled “Ringo.” Maybe
everyone that he was singing about The Beatles’ Ringo Starr. Not
true: A talking (spoken word) song, it tells the tale of the man
who shot Wild Bill Hickok, a well-known western outlaw.
On The Ponderosa: Lorne Greene And His Western Classics is a
greatest hits compilation from various singles and albums he
recorded in the heyday of the television series
Bonanza/
Ponderosa (1962-1966).
Of these songs, there are some that are quite listenable, but
not many. His singing in “The Ol’ Chisholm Trail” is not that bad.
But the talking songs are much better. In fact, his speaking voice
is brilliant, just like the voices of great talents such as Orson
Welles and James Earl Jones. Like “Ringo,””Five Card Stud” has a
pretty cool music track, as the spoken word tale of playing the
card game Five Card Stud is heard. This song ranks in the same
caliber as Phil Harris and/or Tex Ritter’s “Deck Of Cards.” Both
songs tell a great story, dealing with card games.
“The Devil’s Grin” is a “spin-off” song from “Ringo”: Another
talking song, pretty much using the same music track, and another
tale of an outlaw. Even “An Ol’ Tin Cup” has some singing, and
spoken word, yet it’s not that bad. Another same spin-off, “Waco”,
is from the movie of the same name, starring Howard Keel. It’s not
as good as the three songs previously mentioned, but it follows the
same strategy: A talking song about an outlaw, with the familiar
music track.
But just when I thought the spoken word-talking songs are
considered the “best” from this collection, “Pretty Horses” is
spoken in a somewhat “excited voice state” where it should of been
just been in normal voice as “Ringo” and “Five Card Stud”. But
luckily, “Pretty Horses” is less than two minutes in length. Once
this song ends, it’s gone and surely forgotten. The theme songs
from
Bonanza and
Ponderosa are here, and sung by Mr. Greene himself. “Skip To
My Lou,” features the entire Cartwright “Family”: Greene, Pernell
Roberts, Dan Blocker and Michael Landon. After hearing these three
songs, you just may want to forget them. (See where this review is
going? But wait, there’s more! Read on…)
However, attempting to cover a great song such as Johnny Cash’s
“(Ghost) Riders in the Sky” just doesn’t cut it for Lorne Greene.
Even the background singers are bad. (This is a good song for the
Golden Throats series). “Endless Prairie” has a music track
similar to “(Ghost) Riders,” and again it’s a less memorable event
to listen to. The standard western song “Cool Water” has its
moments; I take that back, Greene’s version is bad, too.
And there’s the get-along-li’l-doggy “Whoopi Ti Yi Yo.” Keep on
going, there’s no looking back on this one, and cover your ears
while you’re at it. “The Man” has a nice country-sounding Floyd
Cramer piano sound. That’s the good news. The singing? Well, yes
again, it’s bad. He also takes a shot at Tennessee Ernie Ford’s
“Sixteen Tons,” and if Tennessee Ernie ever heard it when he was
alive, he would take his gun and shoot it himself. I can’t help but
laugh hysterically when I hear Greene’s version; it is just plain
bad, making this another
Golden Throats candidate. Ford’s “Sixteen Tons” is a
classic, leave it for Tennessee Ernie. No one else does it better
than the original. In that same department, he also takes a shot at
Frankie Laine’s “Mule Train.” My review of this song? Same as
“Sixteen Tons”: bad.
But just when you’re about to rip this CD out of the machine,
“Tumbling Tumbleweeds” seems to lessen the cringing from many
previous songs. It’s pleasant, and I think the background singers
help Greene in a big way on this one. “Waco” is the next available
track, and it seems that the cringing is almost going away. But,
just when you thought it was safe to keep listening, “My Sons, My
Sons” has some cringing moments (especially when the singing parts
kick in). Can I take the CD out now?
No, there’s one more track, and it’s the last one: “Saga Of The
Ponderosa.” It’s another bad one, and when it’s done, your
punishment is finally over. You’re done listening to this
compilation. You can remove your arms now from the straps, and
remove the CD from the machine, and do whatever your heart’s desire
with it.
Can you obviously determine what my final rating is for this
album? When Rhino Records released their
Golden Throats series, (there’s four of them!) they featured
well-known celebrities (who are not singers) taking a crack in
trying to join the ranks of a Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole or an
Elvis Presley: They try to sing. And the end results is JUST PLAIN
BAD. It’s best to tell these well-known personalities to go back to
their regular jobs: Acting. (Whether they can act or not is another
story.)
I’m sure everyone involved, like Greene, probably enjoyed making
these recordings, knowing that they were good or (most likely) bad.
It was something different to do. And like Dr. Demento, he, (as
well as I) jumped to the opportunity in wanting (yes, wanting!) to
listen to these songs and, cringe, laugh, cry, and enjoy (!) (Well,
at least try to enjoy. If you laugh at something, does that mean
you’re enjoying it?)
If it deals with music, you’ll find it here on “The Daily Vault”
— likewise, my website. Whether how good, fair or bad it may be.
If you can’t believe that the late Lorne Greene (he passed away in
1987) was a singer, then you won’t believe (but it’s true) that
talk show hosts Morton Downey Jr. and Jerry Springer both recorded
albums too. One of these albums (or maybe both?) WILL be reviewed
on
my website
at a later (probably much later) date. (YIKES!)