Published on Apr 24, 2003
“Last night I just wanted to have fun/ To go out with my
friends/ I took out my dad’s car/ I never thought he would find
out/ But I crashed in a wall/ Man I’m dead.” No that’s not a
description of last week’s episode of
Saved by the Bell. Those are actually lyrics from a song off
of Simple Plan’s debut disc,
No Pads, No Helmets…Just Balls.
I bought this CD, I will admit, because I just couldn’t get
enough of their catchy first single, “I’m Just A Kid.” So I
thought, oh so naively, that their CD would be filled with the same
catchy, “I’m a skater-punk and no one likes me” type of songs that
ex-‘N Sync fans eat up, hoping to gain some underground credit. We
all know these songs, and most of us secretly like them. That is
not what I found with this album, not even close.
Most of the poppy-punk, bubble-gum rock bands out there at least
try to sound like they belong under the punk genre, and actually go
for total rocking out on one or two of their songs. Simple Plan may
try, but their results come off as five Canadian church-boy Wham!
fans who had a crappy day and decided, “Hey, I’ll start a punk
band, but make sure our songs are something families can enjoy
together.” So they write songs like “God Must Hate Me,” “My Alien”
and “The Worst Day Ever,” which probably are supposed to relate to
the heartbreaking angst and trials that plague today’s adolescents.
Most teens have had a “bad day” and have felt misunderstood at some
point. But it’s tough for these songs to make anyone feel
related-to when the perfectly rhyming lyrics are backed up with an
ice cream man-esque melody and impeccably pitched vocals.
The opening song, “I’d Do Anything,” is a “heart-wrenching”
testimonial to that one person who got away. The lyrics are
completely simple, and have no meaning except, of course, that lead
singer Pierre is willing to, in fact, “do anything, just to hold
you in my arms, and try to make you laugh, cause somehow I can’t
put you in the past.” Skip to number five, “When I’m With You.”
Tell me, is this supposed to be a song on a platinum record,
because it sounds all-too reminiscent of poetry day in 5th grade.
And finally to number eight — wow — a song about aliens.
Seriously, the song’s about an alien girl friend who has “two arms
to hold me, and four legs to wrap around me. She’s not your typical
girlfriend, she’s my alien.” Enough said.
Not every song on this album is total crap, there are actually
two bearable singles, number four, “I’m Just A Kid” and number six,
“Meet You There.” “I’m Just A Kid,” which actually has a few
seconds of hardness to which you might mosh, illustrates the
feelings so many of us experience, that we have no friends, that no
on understands our pain. Surprisingly, this song hit a nerve with
me. Some of the lyrics actually mirrored my emotions. It’s not a
masterpiece by any means, but it’s not completely vomit-inducing.
“I’ll Meet You There” is a slower, dreamy-sounding love song. No,
no, it’s actually a good song. The lyrics are insightful and
mature, and for once the tune and melody actually fit the tone of
the song.
Bottom line, MP3 numbers four and six, and don’t waste the
$11.88 on the rest of the debris. I wonder if I can get my own
money back.