Published on Apr 16, 2004
I’ve spent some time this week listening to Faith No More’s
The Real Thing. What a great release! Faith No More was a
unique band that was successful in what they tried to do with their
material. Their songs don’t sound alike, yet there is a common
thread that unites their material, whether it is Mike Patton’s
vocals, Jim Martin’s guitars, or the dreadlocked pounding of Mike
Bordin (or the other contribution by the other two dudes in the
band). I consider
The Real Thing a true stand-out example of a band that is
marching to their own drummer and creating damned good music in the
process. Quirky lyrics and interesting music make that release
stand out as a triumph in music because they burst onto the hard
rock/metal scene at a time when no one else was rapping with heavy
metal. They were paving their own road.
A band in a similar situation, the New Orleans-based Brown Sox,
are at best on the back of a horse in a feed sack. The hit-and-miss
interesting melodies make this band below average hard rock. In the
same breath that the band wants to play hard rock, they pull out so
many damned cliches. It’s unreal that a band like this had the
audacity to record a CD. The band seems to make themselves a band
that wants to mock death metal. That’s been done — the hilarious
final song on Cousin Oliver’s brilliant
(818) release comes to mind — and this isn’t nearly as
interesting. Starting “Porksta’,” with the Cookie Monster line “C
is for cookie and that’s good enough for me” line . . .. well, I’m
not sure what I’m supposed to do with this band. They want to be
taken seriously, citing all their gigs, all their concert
appearances, the fact that one of their songs is being used in a
Metallica documentary, that they have a reputation as a “firece,
loud, energetic, touring machine with plenty of thrills designed to
increase the listener’s pleasure.” But they quote Seasame Street in
the work that is supposed to give them credibility. Doesn’t
work.I’d like to hear the band that is in their press kit. Maybe I
got a misprint.
Yet, repeated listens confirm the lame lyrics in the booklet and
the lame delivery of the vocals by Russell Ockmond match. A song
like “PunkNnutz” repulses me. This lame song builds its main hook
around the lyrics “Grass is always greener on the other side/ and
it’s getting higher . . . la la la-la la.” C’mon. I’d rather listen
to the first track on the awful Fake Brain release.
The music that begins “Left to Try” sounds like a kid alone with
a Casio keyboard — noise. “Death 2 Pay” begins with these lyrics
sung as a death metal growl, “Life is what you make of it/ Its
(sic) not a free ride/ to the darkside.” I could get into this band
more if the music could outweigh the lyrics. It can’t. The music is
less than interesting and the guitars sound out of tune as they
play uninspired solos over a boring bass/drum pattern. And it just
doesn’t get better as you go on through the material. The last 34
seconds of “Death 2 Pay” are more Casio keyboard noise — as if the
beginning of “Left to Try” wasn’t enough. “Face Away” is yet
another track that cannot manage to sound good, starting terribly
with guitarist/vocalist Russell Ockmond singing “La la la la”
crescendoing to “now I thnk that when we think we think/ that we
try to deny.” NO, that is not a typo — those qualify as lyrics for
this band.
Throwing in death metal growls a la Silverstein (the “we don’t
know what to do so you, singer, death metal growl for us”) and it
doesn’t get better. “Computer Brain” is a mess of an experiment
with death metal vocals that have been run through some sort of
processor to give them an overdone effect. Under the vocals, lead
guitarist Tim Hilton, bassist Ernie Thibodeaux, and drummer Shawn
Savoy try to remain interesting. Unsuccessful.
Track 13 combines “blah blah blah blah” with more death metal
growls and more Casio keyboard noise. I don’t know what they were
going for in this song, but it is so stupid. A song so stupid that
is shouldn’t have been recorded, with the lyrical theme “get your
Brown Sox on” punctuating the mess. The band ends this CD with the
“hidden track,” a cover of a Led Zeppelin that is so awful . . . I
am in awe.
I found nothing worth listening to in this band’s release. I
wish they would break up so that we could be assured that I will
never have to hear this band again.