Published on Jun 22, 2005
There was some kind of elaborate marketing scheme involved in
the ticketing of this show… some complicated trick with American
Express people walking around New York and dispensing tickets in an
“instant lottery-type fashion.” Color me cynical, but this sounds
very Sheryl Crow to me. I have a theory that you can tell if a
person is an industry creation or not by the number of Grammys they
have. (Okay, they’re probably not that organized, but there is
still a weird pack rat mentality going on during voting.) I mean,
Sting has the same number of Grammys as Aretha Franklin… what is
that?
This pop critic has always been skeptical of Sheryl Crow, who
even from her first album in 1993 was played to death on Z100. Just
how many singles did
Tuesday Night Music Club have? That album was a pretty good
deal; you bought it once and you felt cool for a long time because
there were so many songs from it being played on the air. It was
the alt-rock era and while nobody then or now would call Sheryl
Crow alternative rock, the album sounded like rock without sounding
like the Beatles or Springsteen or Def Leppard, which made it…
uh, softcore alternative rock? Suburbanites flocked into record
stores to get into the “cool alternative rock thing” and they found
Sheryl Crow, sufficiently inoffensive and pop enough in sound, and
were vindicated by radio’s incessant promotion of it (who
themselves were desperate to be cool — it secures advertising —
but did not want to hemorrhage pop listeners). Her image was
alternative and her sound was pop, the perfect conceptual
combination in a climate where alt-pop quasi-hybrids like Alanis
Morrissette became Instant God. Evanescence missed their ideal
zeitgeist by a decade.
Sheryl Crow has since gone overboard trying to prove just how
rock she is, but who is she fooling (besides millions of casual
rock fans); she was on
Oprah recently. Just what kind of a rocker goes on
Oprah, singing a torch song to her man, no less? Rock
critics, however, are quick to defend her, especially after her
admittedly rockin’ sophomore release and hey, I’m no rock critic,
so maybe you’re getting things I don’t get. But I still hold by the
theory that Sheryl Crow is a large, elaborate pop music hoax, a
kind of Francine Prose of rock, who has released several
“successful” works but not a single one that The Masses
remember.
And I’ve written three paragraphs already without even once
mentioning Kevin Gilbert.
The concert for
Live From Central Park was held after the release of
The Globe Sessions, but out of fourteen songs, only four are
from that album. This is not a testament to the incredibly
depressing soundtrack to
The Bell Jar: the Musical that is
The Globe Sessions, but is a result of the format of this
very specific concert where Crow duets with big names such as
Chrissie Hynde (apparently Hynde finally found a female musician
she didn’t feel catty about), Eric Clapton, Sarah McLachlan, the
Dixie Chicks, Stevie Nicks, Keith Richards… am I leaving anyone
out? You get the picture. Nicks has said in an interview that if
you want to work with anyone in the business, it’s a cinch to know
Crow first because she knows everybody.
Despite this incredible lineup, almost every collaboration in
this concert bombs. Hynde’s contribution to “If It Makes You Happy”
is gratuitous; why is she even in this song? one asks. She doesn’t
really bring anything new to it besides ooh ooh it’s Chrissie Hynde
and sorry, celebrity is not enough for rock. The original version
with Crow sounding like Godzilla being dragged out of bed is so
much better. Eric Clapton sounds flat-out tired, going through the
motions with a forgettable cover of Cream’s “White Room.” “The
Difficult Kind” is a waste of Sarah McLachlan, who harmonizes just
to have something to do and plays an instrument I can’t hear.
Because we all know McLachlan became famous for her mean
keyboarding.
The Dixie Chicks bring a fun country twist to “Strong Enough”
but of course, the song was really country to begin with. At least
it’s a new twist on an old song, which should be the point of any
collaboration outside of classical music. And Stevie Nicks stuns
with one of the best live versions of “Gold Dust Woman” I’ve heard
yet… but I can’t hear Crow at all, and I thought this was her
concert. The finale “Tombstone Blues” where they all take the stage
is such a textbook example of It Didn’t Come Together I’ll just
spare you. And please spare yourself. Really.
What works in this album, actually, is Crow’s solo tracks. Crow
is reportedly amazing in concert and with tracks like “Leaving Las
Vegas” featuring a funny pledge of allegiance to rock & roll, I
believe it. “Everyday is a Winding Road” and “There Goes the
Neighborhood” were built for the stage and Crow does not
disappoint; they sound like how they’re supposed to sound like live
(need I say more?). It’s not enough to save this album and it
wasn’t enough to save Crow for me; this is the last album of hers I
ever bought (although I’ve listened to all of them, on loan).
Maybe I’m not rock enough. But maybe industry and zeitgeist gets
you only so far, especially in rock & roll.