Published on May 25, 2020
I want you to imagine the kind of fevered drawing certain eight-year-old boys do, crayons in hand. The drawing probably involves dragons, spaceships, explosions, lasers, people with battleaxes, Godzilla, demons, avenging armies of angels armed with golden shining broadswords, unicorns, jetpacks, wizards, and for all I know, Waffle House menus. If you have ever had or known a boy of about this age, you’ve probably seen one.
Got that in your head? Good.
Because Gloryhammer is a heavy metal band fully immersed in that mindset, and Legends From Beyond The Galactic Terrorvortex is the musical equivalent of one of those drawings. Their third concept album in an ongoing musical science fantasy epic, there is nothing subtle about this album. More bombastic than Queen, more heavy and triumphant keyboards than a Jon Lord fever dream, and frantic guitar licks Yngwie Malmsteen would approve of, this is the metal equivalent of a triple espresso.
However, like the drawing of the eight-year-old in question, there can be – and is – real talent on LFBTGT. If this is a cartoon, it’s a damned well drawn one; not quite Tex Avery Bugs Bunny, but definitely Chuck Jones quality. It’s infectious; songs like “Power Of The Laser Dragon Fire,” “Gloryhammer” (which has a definite “The Final Countdown” feel to it, but is so over the top it makes that song sounds like a waltz), and “Hootsforce” got my fist in the air pretty damn effectively. I’ve always thought that heavy metal fails when it starts taking itself seriously, and Gloryhammer never falls into that trap. (Frankly, I have yet to hear an act on Napalm Records that falls into that trap; I’m getting really fond of this record label.)
Plus, there’s a song about zombies invading Glasgow, so it’s got that going for it.
I’m proud to admit that I liked “LFBTGT” a lot. There’s space in the world for symphonic metal drenched in cheese, and Gloryhammer does it rather effectively. If this is your sort of thing, definitely check this out.