Published on Jul 7, 2001
Junkyard hoped to catch on through their sleaze-rock image in
1989 and they never did. They put out a CD after their debut and .
. . no one bought it.
Their self-titled debut brings Faster Pussycat and AC/DC to
mind: play a riff over and over and it becomes memorable. Why else
can I remember the riff of “Don’t Change That Song” at a moment’s
notice? You hate bands like this: they are not especially talented,
meaning zines like Guitar World transcribe their songs so that
would-be guitarists can learn the song and say, “I can play an
AC/DC song.” And like the most exciting guitar duo (NOT!) in AC/DC,
Junkyard is good transcription fodder. Transcribe the main riff,
add a couple of variations, and you can transcribe the entire
CD.
If I knew how to transcribe guitar.
“Blooze” opens the CD with an up-tempo jaunt into boring. “Hot
Rod” continues with stupid lyrics such as “Well, c’mon baby, take a
chance with me/ Jump into my ride and see/ Got a motor revvin’
under my hood/ Bigger than you’d ever believe.” Gee, those aren’t
suggestive lyrics. Someone get the PMRC going again.
The writing credit for “Simple Man” is given to Gates/Roach, but
they should have been honest and said, “Lynyrd Skynyrd.” Sounds
like a cheap rip-off and it sucks. “Shot in the Dark” sounds like
Faster Pussycat.
The CD’s lone redeeming quality is the single “Hollywood” which
is actually not bad. If I ever trade my Ludwig Vistalite drum set
(stacked in my basement) in for a guitar, I wouldn’t mind learning
this riff after 1) “Jungle Love” by the Steve Miller Band, 2)
“China Groove” by the Doobie Brothers and 3) “Enter Sandman” by
Metallica. I might have to learn “Sunshine Of Your Love” just
because I’ve been listening to the Earth Crisis cover of it on
The Oath That Keeps Me Free. Before I think of other riffs I
would want to learn, I’ll stop and say that “Hollywood” is the best
riff on this CD.
The worst part of this CD is that the band has no real showcase
players. Vocalist David Roach isn’t especially talented, and the
guitar duo of Chris Gates and Brian Baker are boring and
predictable. Drummer Patrick Michael Muzingo reminds me of Phil
Rudd. While he plays decently, I rarely hear aspiring drummers say,
“I want to play like Phil Rudd.” I wanted to sound like Neil Peart,
Lars Ulrich, and Alex Van Halen.
I definitely agree with part of a review I read for
Junkyard which says, in part: “. . . Junkyard’s 1989 debut
is a . . . disjointed[,] affair.” And if you think I was rough on
this piece of junk, wait until I get to the Dangerous Toys
relase
Hellacious Acres. Just a hint: helacious is a good
description of the listener’s experience.