Published on Nov 12, 2001
Back in the early ’90s, the hard rock group Love/Hate released a
song called “Why Do You Think They Call It Dope?”. One wonders if
this is the motto of the characters of Jay & Silent Bob,
creations from the mind of director Kevin Smith, who has featured
these two stoners in several of his films.
Critics have been falling all over themselves to declare their
latest outing (and first film putting them in the spotlight),
Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back, a waste of time. One
listen to the soundtrack, and I have to wonder if someone’s stash
was filled with some bad shit, ’cause this sometimes borders on
unlistenable.
This poor excuse of an album not only wastes the listener’s time
when they could have been doing something more worthwhile – say,
masturbating with a barbed-wire glove – but it commits a few
cardinal sins in the world of soundtracks.
Cardinal sin number one: If you’re going to feature a song from
a classic band such as Steppenwolf, don’t feature the shortened
version of “Magic Carpet Ride”. Jesus Christ, this is supposed to
be a movie about two potheads, and if
any film would call for the extended spacey musical jam that
is the original version of this song, this is the film.
Cardinal sin number two: If the snippets from the film have
nothing to do with the music, leave them on the cutting room floor.
On the few occasions where the music creates a natural flow, the
dialog from the film promptly knocks said groove down like so many
bowling pins.
Cardinal sin number three: Just ’cause a musician’s from your
home state does not mean you’re obligated to include them on your
soundtrack. I’m real sure that Bon Jovi wasn’t thrilled to have
“Bad Medicine” involved with a stoner flick. (Memo to Smith: Not
that I would have an easy time doing it, but you couldn’t have come
up with a better song to feature from Bon Jovi? Cripes,
Spaceballs did a better job working Bon Jovi into its
soundtrack.)
Cardinal sin number four: Afroman. Yes, I know that “Because I
Got High” fits the mood of the picture. But if I hear this fucking
song one more time, I’m gonna kill something. Geez, you hear this
guy, and you wonder why this is the one time that Jesse Jackson
does shut his mouth.
Cardinal sin number five: Have at least three songs on the
soundtrack which are remotely interesting. I’ll even stretch things
to include the hacked-up version of “Magic Carpet Ride” in this
list – ’cause without it, there’d only be two songs to highlight,
namely Minibar’s “Choked Up” and Bloodhound Gang’s “Jackass”. (Memo
number two to Smith: You couldn’t have licensed the original
version of “Jungle Love” from Morris Day & The Time than this
weaker live version? This version lacks the cocky punch the
original had.)
Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back might actually be a victim
of the movie it’s supposed to be supporting; after all, if the film
isn’t worth the stock it’s printed on, what good will the music
serve? As it stands, this is a far-from-stellar collection of tunes
which might not even cause someone who’s high to bust out laughing.
This soundtrack should really be called “Jay & Silent Bob
Strike Out”.