Published on Dec 11, 1998
I’ve had this tape in my collection for a few years and only
recently pulled it out again. It had two inches of dust. I couldn’t
remember why.
Then I heard the music and it all came back to me. I remembered
why I had Scotch taped this tape shut! I should have used gray
tape, though.
The Impotent Sea Snakes are five transvestites that play average
punk, peppered with profanities and absurd imagery. If you could
strip away all the odd images the Sea Snakes want you to think
about,
God Save The Queens might actually be a decent disc. The
deliberate sexual overtones don’t really allow the band a chance to
display their musical talent because you’re listening to the
lyrics, reacting in shock. To get a better idea of what the Sea
Snakes are about, I could just list the song titles and let your
imagination do the rest.
The disc starts with “Chicks With Dicks,” followed by “Porn
Star” where lead singer 13 boasts, “Be a red light district star/
42nd street celeb/ Recognized in sleaze bars.” Of the 12 tracks,
only 3 don’t contain vulgarities. The band notes that fact in the
liner notes: “Note to Nutless DJ’s: Cuts 3, 5 & 12 contain no
profanity.” The Sea Snakes are about being offensive, getting a
reaction and leaving the listener speechless. Why else would a song
be written about fucking kangaroos in “Kangaroos (Up The Butt)”? Or
about going to a “lesbo orgy dressed in drag” in “Daisy Chain?”
Musically, there’s not much to the band. Their cover of the
Stones’ “Sympathy For The Devil” invokes a laugh when 13 croons,
“I’m a man of wealth and taste.” Since this is the last track on
the disc, hearing 13 describe himself as having taste invokes at
least one very haughty laugh. “I Hate U” sounds okay, and
“Kangaroos (Up The Butt)” has a Chilli Peppers by way of Aerosmith
bass groove, but the rest of the music just doesn’t do much for the
listener. Besides, in reality, the lyrics overtake whatever amount
of attention is you normally direct toward music.
The Impotent Sea Snakes are not a bad band because they talk
about “fistfucking the cunt of the slut who once bore me in her
womb” in “Fistfucking My Mother” or because they sing about
“bon[ing] your buddy in the butt/ and suck[ing] the cum from his
ass” in “Felching.”
No, the Sea Snakes suck because their music is not able to
overcome all the hype and stand on its own.