Published on Jun 26, 2006
Let’s talk about cheese. There’s real cheese like
cheddar, Swiss and the expensive stinky stuff they sell in the deli
section at Albertson’s. Then there’s stuff posing as cheese, those
individually wrapped slabs of screaming yellow waxy matter, aerosol
cheese that comes in a can, and Velveeta, whatever that stuff is.
If music were cheese, Survivor would fall into the latter
variety.
Their breakout third album Eye Of The Tiger is
a heapin’ helpin’ of 80’s pop-rock cheese, a big greasy wheel of
imitation gouda, a hard shiny veneer masking something soft and
stinky underneath.
The disc opens with the ubiquitous title track, made
famous as the theme music from Rocky III(the one with Mr. T,
for those of you keeping score.) Featuring one of the best-known
intros in the history of recorded music, you would be hard pressed
to find anyone who doesn’t recognize it from the first few bars,
and I haven’t been to a hockey game in 20 years where they didn’t
play it. Give the boys their due on that one; it’s a classic and
lots of people love it, and on the whole it’s not a bad song even
for cheese, standing the test of time. Dubya used it during his
campaign and the band even dusted off the keytar to parody
themselves playing it in a hilarious Starbucks ad.
Sadly, that song is the high point of the album. The
remaining eight tracks find Survivor doing their utmost to be
Journey in every respect. These songs are heavy on keys and big
guitar riffs, and singer Dave Bickler is up on his tip-toes trying
to reach those castrati notes that only Steve Perry could ever do
justice to. Not to mention there are some absolutely hideous
harmony vocals here.
The songs are so generic it’s laughable. There’s
nothing even mildly interesting either lyrically or musically
beyond the title track. I was trying to find something interesting
to say about this disc or the band but I drew a blank. And that’s
about all that needs to be said.