Chocolate Starfish And The Hot Dog Flavored Water – Alfredo Narvaez

Chocolate Starfish And The Hot Dog Flavored Water
Interscope Records, 2000
Reviewed by Alfredo Narvaez
Published on Nov 5, 2000

Well, ladies and gentlemen, I think we have a winner for both
the Weirdest and the Dumbest album title of the year. And leave it
to Fred Durst and Co. to come up with it. Who would have
thought?

I have often remarked to friends that Limp Bizkit is to the 90s
what Def Leppard was to the 80s. (Ducking flying barrage of garbage
sent my way!) Let me explain: In the eighties, you had a new genre
of music coming into the spotlight – namely heavy metal. Its tough
crunch and fast solos made fans out of many young kids (mostly
boys), who were into groups like Metallica and AC/DC. (By the way,
yes, I do know that metal was created in the seventies by people
like Alice Cooper, Black Sabbath and Led Zeppelin. That’s partly
the point I’m making here). It took groups like Def Leppard to
harness that sound and remix it to make it palatable for the
masses. They combined the metal sound with pop hooks and easy
lyrics and rode this wave to a decade of hits and platinum.

Now, you have a new version of metal that combines the hard
crunch and sound with lyrics delivered at hip-hop style and speed.
Born out of Anthrax’s and Public Enemy’s “Fight The Power,” early
Faith No More and Rage Against the Machine’s debut album, rap-rock
came into the mainstream with groups like KoRn, Kid Rock and Limp
Bizkit. What differentiates the Bizkit from the others though is
their “don’t-give-a-f$#@!” party attitude. They are not as centered
in their angst like KoRn nor do they go around crusading for causes
like Rage used to do. They’re the ones that play at Playboy parties
and frat houses. They are the more popular choice for the masses –
hence the comparisons to that other rock band.

So, after forcing everyone to come “N2Gether Now” and do it all
for the “Nookie,” the boys of the Bizkit (DJ Lethal, drummer John
Otto, guitarist Wes Borland, bassist Sam Rivers and one Fred Durst)
are now back with their third major-label release. And like I
stated above the title has got to be both the weirdest and the
dumbest I’ve heard this year. I mean, I could understand
Significant Other, since that album was about breaking up
and other parts of the relationship stage. Fine. I still don’t get
this one.

Actually, a lot of the music in this album seems to fit very
well with the description I just gave for their previous album.
Songs like “It’ll Be OK,” “Boiler” and “The One” all deal with bad
relationships or bad break-ups. They tend to be mostly mid-tempo
affairs, except for “It’ll Be OK,” which was more up-tempo. That
seems to contrast with the message of suicide that Durst is singing
– perhaps an attempt at forcing the listener to come to terms with
message and music. Whether any of these songs are leftovers or not
is unknown, but it wouldn’t surprise me.

Of course, this couldn’t be a Limp Bizkit album without the mad
rhymes and dope beats, right? Both current singles, “My Generation”
and “Rollin’ (Air Raid Vehicle),” are very hard-edged and very
radio-oriented. In this vein we also find “Take A Look Around,”
which some of you might remember was their remix of the “Mission:
Impossible Theme.” I’ve stated this before, but I’ll say it again:
I love Limp’s musical remix of the theme. It’s great. What was
unnecessary were Durst’s lyrics. They may have been required for
the band to have done it, but I find them extra. How’s about an
instrumental version only?

OK, you’ve read this far down and may be asking yourselves if
there are any problems. Well, I found two major ones. One is the
heavy use of profanity. Now, I’m no prude – definitely not. And I
sort of get the point in “Hot Dog” of using the f-word a record
number of times. But Durst takes it to the extreme and devalues the
use of profanities. Nearly every song has a minimum of twenty
“fucks,” ten “shits” with a few “motherfuckers” thrown in for good
measure. I tend to think that less is more and that the weight of
these words gets lost when they’re overused. How bad is it? My
cousin – a dyed-in-the-wool Bizkit fan – hated this album for
them.

The second major problem is the overuse of cliches – both rock
cliches and rap cliches. They tend to bring down any major
statement the band may be trying to make. “Full Nelson,” a stab at
their critics, gets mired in their cliched-statements. “My Way” is
nothing more than a rehashed statement about their own props and
“Livin’ It Up” has a cool mid section, but fails thanks to its
simple statements about being the S#*&!.

Aside from that, you have the obvious reality that comes out in
“Getcha Groove On,” “Hold On” and “Rollin’ (Urban Assault Mix)” –
and that is the fact that guest vocalists tend to one-up Durst’s
vocal skills. I mean, one one hand you have the tandem of DMX,
Method Man and Redman all in the “Rollin'” remix and they all shine
much brighter than Durst – who is left simply delivering the
chorus. On the other, there’s Scott Weiland, slowly wailing in
“Hold On” and proving his own singing capabilities better than
Durst’s – even with Weiland’s notorious drug use. It’s not that
Durst is bad, it’s just that the others are even better.

Well, at this moment, Limp Bizkit is as big as it gets in the
annals of rock. Whether or not they remain so will be revealed in
the fullness of time. However, while
Significant Other was a step forward,
Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water is merely
a step nowhere. The music is the same and the lyrics don’t improve
on anything that’s done before. It may sell now, but whether the
Bizkit lives on to see the 2010 Video Music Awards or becomes a
Where Are They Now? remains to be seen.

Rating: C

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