Published on Sep 29, 2000
I went out to the
official Doro
website before I typed a word of this review. I realized that
the gorgeous blonde had a large following from her previous band,
Warlock, and I know these words are going to offend Doro fans, but
damnit, this CD sucks.
Let me re-phrase that. This one stinks like a two year old’s
diaper after corn and green jello meets you on the other side. Yes,
that bad.
For those of you, like me, that skipped her career as the leader
of Warlock, this is the first taste of this supposed legend. I
realize she has a legion of fans, but I can’t help but think even
they will think this is bad.
First, the good, and there ain’t a lot of it. Eric Singer plays
drums on a couple of tracks and sounds as good as ever. Lemmy, from
Motorhead, guests on a song he wrote called “Love Me Forever” and
plays acoustic guitar. Again, that sounds as good as ever. Finally,
the CD has a run time of only 54 minutes, not 74.
Now (sharpening the axe to pick this apart), the not so good.
First of all, the material is weak. Doro’s band are mere role
players, performing mundane material. When they should rock, they
play it safe. “I Gave My Blood” and opener “Terorvision” are, well,
boring. There’s the standard slow down section a la “Enter Sandman”
and it sucks.
Then there’s the purely awful lyrics. “Give Me A Reason” is the
crème de la crème for awful lyrics when Doro
declares, “This is another lonely morning/ It feels like another
lonely night/ I’m almost sure I’ll give up hoping/ Or shouldn’t I
give it one more try.” There isn’t an ounce of decency in those
lyrics. It’s equally awful in “I Wanna Live” when she sings, “I
wanna live/ Don’t wanna die/ And that’s the way it is.” Really??
Who the hell wants to die??
So the musicians, for the most part, are boring. The lyrics are
cliched and equal parts stupid and moronic. I mean, what in the
hell possessed someone to actually write something like this? These
are the kind of lyrics that, had I wrote them, I would have
crumpled on the floor or deleted from my hard drive.
The worst part is Doro can’t even hold her own when she covers
another musician’s work. She covers Billy Idol’s “White Wedding”
and it’s awful. Critics and fans alike trash cover songs for one of
two reasons. Either the cover “doesn’t sound any different than the
original” or the cover “sounds too different” from the original.
(For examples of good covers of songs, pick up the Cherry Disc
Records compilation of Boston bands playing Van Halen songs called
Everybody Wants Some.) In Doro’s case, the tempo of this
sucker is way, way too slow. There is so much space between notes
during the verse that you are literally begging the guitar player
to throw in a little extra frill. Unfortunately, he doesn’t and the
track is not even mediocre.
There is a current media blitz about Doro’s “comeback” to metal.
The woman is gorgeous, I disagree not an ounce about that. Her
effort on this CD does not come together. I hated this CD.