A Mission Of Five – Christopher Thelen

A Mission Of Five
Nebulon Community Records, 1999
Reviewed by Christopher Thelen
Published on Sep 21, 1999

Every once in a while, I hear a band whose music sounds like it
is the offspring of two better-known bands. Sometimes, this merging
of styles is pleasant; other times, it sounds like cats being
thrown into a food processor. Then, there are the marriages of
style that both irritate me and thrill me. Ladies and gentlemen,
meet The Statue Factor.

Their independent disc
A Mission Of Five sounds a lot like what would happen if the
B-52s and the Violent Femmes were to merge. Sometimes, the end
result ain’t pretty, but there are times on this disc that show me
such a collaboration of styles can work, and can work well. Too bad
there aren’t more moments like these on this disc.

The band – vocalist Joseph Coehlo, guitarist Jesse Thomas,
organist/vocalist Lady K, bassist James Dias and drummer Roger
Knight – often sound like an electrified Violent Femmes, only
they’re lacking Gordon Gano’s annoying whine. Instead, Coehlo
bellows on some of the tracks as if he were being emotionally
tortured – not a great way to make a first impression. Throw in
Lady K’s shouts from behind the keyboards, and you’ve got the
B-52’s without the smarminess of Fred Schneider – or, for that
matter, the harmony of said band.

The early minutes of
A Mission Of Five are some of the band’s most difficult to
get through. Tracks like “Skulls, Blades And Hearts” and “She
Destroyed Me” fail to impress, even though these tracks often hint
at some promise. But just when you’re about to give up all hope on
this band, out come tracks like “Coughing Up Blood” and “Popular
Girl Syndrome,” tracks which still need a coat of paint, but turn
out to be rather enjoyable efforts.

This ping-ponging between quality and pain continues for most of

A Mission Of Five. For each track that was painful to listen
to (“Tight Shirt Conspiracy,” “He’s Cheap Luv”), there was a
corresponding track that reaffirmed hope in The Statue Factor
(“Inemotion,” “After Midnight”). All of this, crammed into just
under 40 minutes, leaves you feeling exhausted and a bit confused
at the end.

The Statue Factor is still a very young band, and as
A Mission Of Five proves, they do have some promise behind
their music. If they’re going to have a fighting chance in the
gladiator game we call the music industry, they have to work on
making their music less spotty and more cohesive and coherent. Once
they do that, they will easily have a good chance at making a name
for themselves nationally. Until then,
A Mission Of Five suggests that the mission, while not
impossible, may be hard to achieve.

Rating: C-

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