Published on Jan 17, 2001
I don’t know why, but I’m really getting to hate stoner rock.
Maybe it’s because I never indulged in any drug more powerful than
Seagram’s in my lifetime (and the only thing I am addicted to is
caffiene – but it’s cool, my prescription is from Dr. Pepper), so
there’s a chance I’m just too straight to understand the cosmic
noodling that takes place. Maybe it’s that I’m just not hip – and I
could live with that.
But for every good stoner rock band I hear, I also get the
“pleasure” of checking out several half-assed bands who try to be
cosmic but come crash landing faster than the Hindenburg being
piloted by Captain Hazelwood. (Or is that reference too ’90s?
Dennis Miller, if you’re reading, please help me with my
subreferencing!) If stoner rock is supposed to be a mind-altering
experience, then Red Giant is the bad acid of the group and their
disc
Ultra Magnetic Glowing Sound is one bad trip.
I don’t doubt for a minute that this trio – vocalist/guitarist
Damien, vocalist/guitarist Alex and drummer Chris – are sincere
about their musical exploits. And I also don’t doubt that they’re
honestly trying. What’s more, they’re not typical stoner rock in
that they do try to put some sense of musical prowess behind the
scenes – unlike, say, Sleep, who musically beat off to one
chord.
But the songs on
Ultra Magnetic Glowing Sound just don’t seem to want to come
to the surface and through the haze. Kicking and screaming are some
semblances of songs, heard on tracks like “1960 Starchief,” “Saturn
Missile Battery” and “When Sirius Rises”. Production-wise, this
disc really needs work, as everything seems to just fall together
into a gummy lump, making it hard to distinguish the vocals from
the instruments at times.
If they had gotten the basics of songwriting down,
Ultra Magnetic Glowing Sound could have been a passable
album. But when two tracks – “Ring Of The Acid Pope” and “Devils Of
The Fall” – result in over 16 minutes of musical masturbation, it’s
enough to make you toss your stereo out the window. I actually
found myself sitting at my desk, in the middle of “Devils Of The
Fall,” saying, “Sometimes I hate this job.” It’s brutal stuff, and
should be avoided. No, better yet – use this in drug prevention
classes, telling kids that when you do drugs, this is what you are
likely to create. I’ll tell you, the toughest thing our kids would
touch would be the mystery meat in the cafeteria.
So, what have we learned? The listener has learned that
Ultra Magnetic Glowing Sound is a disc which is definitely
not worth your time. The reviewer has learned that tossing a stereo
out the window results in a broken window, a pissed-off neighbor
(sorry about your cat, by the way) and a mess on the lawn to clean
up. Maybe Red Giant should have followed the advice of a Pink Floyd
song, and should have set the controls for the heart of the sun
when it came to this album… and watched it melt.