Published on Dec 13, 2000
This is gonna be a tough review to write.
You see, this is a review of the soundtrack for Disney’s
102 Dalmations — a kids’ soundtrack for a kids’ movie. I
have plenty of words I could use to describe my feelings for this
disc. But, there’s an excellent chance that little eyes have made
it to this review — and some of the things I have to say, aah,
wouldn’t be so nice. So, you’ll excuse me if it seems like I’m
sugar-coating things a bit.
Maybe the problem is that I thought a sequel to
101 Dalmations was a bad idea from the start. I mean, why
tamper with something that worked well — like messing with the
formula for Coca-Cola? (Oops, I forgot — they
did that back in the ’80s.) But there almost seems like
there’s a sense of desparation from the album producers to make
this soundtrack not only work, but also sound modern for today’s
preschool movie-goer.
The end result? One word: Woof.
102 Dalmations is essentially two albums combined into one:
pieces meant to represent characters in the movie, and actual music
from actual artists. The mixture is a bizarre one, and it fails
miserably.
Let’s get the character pieces out of the way first. Tracks such
as “Cruella” and “What Can A Bird Do?”, they just… aargh… I’m
trying to watch my language, but these are just so…
bad that it’s almost funny. Simply put, this was a bad idea
made worse by turning it into reality. Likewise, selections like
“The Language Of Dogs” and “Digga Digga Dog” – I mean, what do
these have to do with the
movie, for Jah’s sake? Maybe my four-year-old would get into
one of these, but I also tend to think she’d get tired of this real
quick. (I also am sitting here, still in disbelief that Disney
would sample George Clinton —
George Clinton!!! — on “Digga Digga Dog.” Something tells
me the producers never studied Parliament/Funkadelic’s back
catalog.)
There is one notable exception to this rant: using “Bella Notte”
from
Lady And The Tramp. Okay, you could argue that this
signifies that the boys in Disney’s soundtrack department were
getting desparate for ideas with this disc — but I can honestly
see how such a track fits in with things. So you won’t see me
griping about hearing this again.
You’d tend to think that following landmine after landmine,
things would pick up with the actual
music. Guess again, sucker. Four words: Myra covering “Puppy
Love.” If you grew up with Donny Osmond singing this stinkburger
(no offense, Donny — you were great in concert a few weeks ago in
Chicago), this is gonna give you nightmares. The modern take on a
track from
101 Dalmations, “Cruella De Vil 2000” (by George Kamban
featuring Mark Campbell) adds nothing to the original version, and
while not an absolute failure, is a disappointment.
The further you get into
102 Dalmations, the greater the temptation to just let loose
and call this disc what it really is. C’mon, Disney gone
disco?!? On “So Fabulous, So Fierce (Freak Out)” by
Thunderpuss (featuring Jocelyn Enriquez), and following that up
with a hip-hop/disco track from Nobody’s Angel, “Whatcha Gonna Do
(With Your Second Chance)”? Sorry, gang, but I can’t picture
Cruella De Vil gettin’ jiggy at a London disco. Just ain’t
happenin’ in my two-volt brain.
Again, there is one exception to all the complaints: Lauren
Christy of The Matrix performing “My Spot In The World.”
I can summarize
102 Dalmations in just three words: euthanize this
puppy.